Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
