At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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