Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize