ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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