ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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