I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
