"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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