I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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