Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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