you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
