If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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