I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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