i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
