God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
