Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize