think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
