No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
