Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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