I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
