hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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