when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
