he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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