Already got asked if we're dating
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
