i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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