if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
