i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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