absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
