i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
