Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
