If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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