are you so shy because you have an std?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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