Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm experimenting with sincerity
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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