his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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