why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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