We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
