we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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