How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
