dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
