Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
