If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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