Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
