3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize