That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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