Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
