I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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