so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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