I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize