he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
