Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
