i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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