he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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