just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Randomize
