i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
