my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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