i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
