Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize