You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i believe in u and ur pee
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
