it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize