I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
