It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
