Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
