For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
